I'm about to attend my first week as a team member of a two-year Academy for Spiritual Formation, meeting at Sinsinawa, Wisconsin. I will serve as Worship Coordinator and I'm so very excited. There is something about leading Academy worship from the piano that fits my spirit like a glove. It is hard to explain, but it's as if the gifts I can humbly offer and all my passions converge into one moment in time.I am reflecting with deep gratitude on all the Academy has meant in my spiritual journey during this past decade of deepening. I recently past the "10-year anniversary" of some difficult and formative experiences that cracked open the protective shell of my heart and exposed me a deep cavern in my soul, ready for exploration and exposure to the healing, cleansing light of Christ. The Academy came into my life about 1/2 way through that 10-year journey.
I have experienced new life. The Academy gave focus, clarity, and articulation to the rumblings of the heart God had been creating in me. I have discovered that:
- Christian life (and ministry) is not so much about "doing" but about "being".
- I am called to become like a tree, planted by streams of flowing water. If I am truly grounded, when heat comes my leaves will stay green, and when drought comes I will not cease to bear fruit.
- Prayer is not my work, but about allowing God time and space to do "soul work" in me.
- My lifelong quest is not to perform and function, but to abide in the true vine, so that I bear fruit that will last.
- All my anxious strivings for success and achievement reflect cultural values I have imposed on the gospel, and I am called to a journey of letting go, living from my center (my true self, the "Christ self" in me).
- Scripture is a place where I can go to be transformed, and prayer is a place where my spirit can dance.
- Much of the spiritual journey is a dark night of the soul.
- Relationships are both my greatest blessing and my deepest struggle. Forgiveness is a continual journey.
- Christ draws me near in the midst of pain as well as in "mystical moments" of grace.
- My joy is a choice.