Memorial for the Grissom High School Class of 1983

These were my remarks at the brief memorial service I was honored to lead for our 40th high school reunion on September 30, 2023. We met in the entrance lobby of the new Grissom High School after getting a tour from the new principal. We gathered around a small table with a cloth, a candle, and a bell.

Since we all need little reminders, my name is Steve West, and I am of course part of the class of ‘83.

We graduated from Grissom in the year 1983. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was #1 in the charts, and Motorola released the first mobile phone. Mario Brothers were unleashed by Nintendo, and the final episode of M.A.S.H. was watched by 125 million viewers.

It was a long time ago, and like you, I had a lot of things on my mind. But the last thing I could have imagined back then was being asked to say a few words to remember our lost classmates 40 years later. I’m deeply honored.

 

We stand here and light this candle to remember them. I count 39 of them, and as strange as it seems, that averages about 1 per year. We light a candle because they are like “shining stars that burned out too soon.”

I can remember exactly where I was, and what I was doing, when I first heard of the death of someone from our class I knew pretty well. I was doing summer camp registration, and a friend bounded up to me to tell me of the death of Todd Walker, lost in an accident at the Space Center. Todd sat by me in Mrs. Ward’s home room every year. He was always fun, always sharp witted, played sax in the band, and went to church with some of my friends.

If I asked you, you might remember the first time you heard about the death of someone you knew.

But I can’t say I knew everyone on this list. I went through the media presentation some of you graciously put together, some had obituaries attached. Some I was acquainted with, others were less familiar. But all of them were important … to somebody. 

So what do we say about them today?

I think of a quote from Scottish poet Thomas Campbell, which my mother found in my grandmother’s journal. “To live in the hearts of those we left behind is not to die.” 

Today we honor their memory, because they live on in us. We are grateful.

I’d like us to be honest about a couple of things. When there are between five and six hundred in your class, we just can’t know everybody. Whether you went to Whitesburg or Mountain Gap, or like me moved to Huntsville to go to high school, we just don’t have the bandwidth.

You may have regrets that you didn’t know some of them better. Or you might have regrets about the interactions you do remember with some of them. I want you to know it’s natural to feel that way.

But we are now experienced enough to know people aren’t perfect, and wise enough to let go of the expectation that we should be. Kelly Caldwell Kazek posted some delightful “Reasons You Really Should Go to Your 40th Reunion.” I thought the most insightful one was “We’ve all had ups and downs since high school. We measure success in different ways. The important thing to know is these are some of your oldest friends.”

Do you know what helps me when I have regrets about someone I have lost? Whatever we may believe about the afterlife, I’m sure of one thing. If they are looking down on us now, they are doing so with perfect love and understanding eyes. We were teenagers back then, and none of us were particularly wise. We can put the past behind us knowing that the people we honor today have a more complete perspective.

Returning to the idea that they are like “shining stars that burned out too soon,” we know that some stars twinkle brightly, some are in interesting patterns that we assign meaning to, others are dim or slightly red. We may know some stars better than we know the others. But together, the stars light the night sky, and that’s what matters. There’s a bigger picture we are a part of.

I have an altar bell from an old church. I’d like to first light the candle, then read the names. Then I’ll ring the bell to call us to one minute of silence. Then I’ll close with a poem. Let us begin.

The candle is lit and these names are read:

• Carl Behr
• Chris Hallum
• Jim Pemberton
• Neil Stanley
• John Burgoyne
• Allisen Brooks Cox
• Kerry Edwin Vaughn
• Forrest Splinter Spann
• Chris Atkins
• Christian Sloan
• Tim Leduc
• Stacy Abeyta Tucker
• Eric Pickett
• Lisa Holloway Roop
• Pat Ferrell
• Del Hilbert
• Craig Hoke
• Michael Sean Gregg
• Jennifer Kirkpatrick Habblett Goodridge
• Tim Byrne
• Mark Lunsford
• Donny Featherston
• Peter Operacz
• Burt Cogburn
• David Scott Forgie
• Peter Sapp
• Phyllis Pope
• Anne Deletang
• Todd Walker
• Michelle Ballard
• Gregory Scott Canter
• James "Jim" Wise
• Stephen Francis Horan
• Scott Terrell
• Sharon Guinn
• Mark Magnant
• Desiree “Dee” McGlone Tumas
• Steven C Smith
• Mary Terrance “Terri” Newsome

I rang the bell and invited us to take a minute of silence. Then this poem was read:

“So many things have happened
Since they were called away.
So many things to share with them
Had they been left to stay.
And now on this reunion day,
Memories do come our way.
Though absent, they are ever near,
Still missed, remembered, always dear.”

As time permitted, I asked people if they’d like to say a brief sentence or two about someone we remembered.

On the phrase “Love the sinner, hate the sin”

I have grown to detest this phrase.

It carries the pretense of being loving, with the undergirding reality that we assume we are “holier than thou.” I imagine it sounds so different to the one being judged than the one doing the judging. Yes, it’s judgment … because we are attempting to identify what another person’s sin is.

Not only that, let’s be honest. Folks who use this phrase are almost always talking about one thing. Nobody uses it when we talk about people’s addiction, or lying, or cheating on their taxes.

Here’s the thing. The only things the Lord “hates,” according to scripture, are “haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.” Look it up.

I wonder if people who presume to righteously hate other people’s sin realize that it may be their own sin the Lord truly hates.

Our calling is to love God and neighbor, my friends.

Presentation on Staying in the UMC

I have been a spokesperson for staying UMC in this season when some have been discerning whether to secede from our denomination or remain in the main body. Each presentation has been tailored to a local situation.

Now that I have finished the last speaking engagement on my calendar, I feel compelled to share my most recent presentation with you here.

I’m passionate about the future of the UMC and believe we have great days ahead, pulling together and focusing on making disciples of Christ after this schism. I stand firmly against the wealth of misinformation that has been spread by separatists, and this presentation includes some of my  “Methodist mythbusting.”

If all you’ve heard is a separatist presentation, you have not opened yourself to a complete picture. Factual information from your pastor, conference, and bishop isn’t the “other side” but the common ground from which multiple sides should be considered.

I hope this offers a clear, compelling alternative to the separatist point of view. Some highlights are:

• The distinction between traditional “compatibalists” and “incompatibalists”
• Essential Wesleyan spirituality
• Addressing MYTHS such as the ideas that UMC beliefs are going to dramatically change, extreme examples represent the whole,  we are all going to take a “hard left,” and that leaving is a “good business deal.”
• A vision for being a traditional church in a diverse denomination
• Choosing unity over conformity and uniformity

Feel free to share it.

Balancing Resources (latest version)

There is plenty of biased and misleading information available on the internet to promote the separatist narrative for leaving the UMC. I offer these balancing resources.

Is the United Methodist Church Really …? – Mythbusting by “Ask the UMC” from United Methodist Communications (parts 1-11 so far)

"Proud to Be UMC"

Bishop Bickerton’s “Mid-State of the UMC” Address

Council of Bishop’s Narrative for the Continuing UMC

Celebrate the UMC Event in Montgomery - Featuring Tom Berlin

Sermon by John Robbins of Pulaski Heights UMC on Staying in the UMC

Adam Hamilton Responds to Maligning and Misleading Videos of Rob Renfroe

Bishops Push Back Against Recruitment Tactics of WCA

African Bishops Condemn the WCA and refuse to go into the GMC

What We Believe – The United Methodist Church

United Methodist Social Principles

“Should I Stay or Should I Go” series by United Methodist Communications

Stay UMC - Grassroots coalition of North Alabama United Methodists

“Why I’m Not Leaving the United Methodist Church” -Letter by Steve West that went viral after first Clear Branch event promoting leaving the UMC

“Open Letter to Chris Ritter” - Letter by Steve West that went viral in response to biased sideby-side comparison distributed by the WCA

“We Believe!” - Steve Harper dispels myths about future beliefs

“That We May Be One” – Texas Conference

“Abide” - South Georgia Conference

United Methodist News Service

“United Methodist Insight”

"Beginning Again" - Guide for Remaining United Methodist 

Letter Responding to my Stay UMC Presentation

This is a letter I was honored to receive after a recent presentation. I share it with you (edited to remove identifying information) because it beautifully and succinctly states, from a layperson’s point of view, why the vast majority of traditional United Methodists feel compelled to stay UMC.

—

Dr. West, 

I hope this isn't an imposition.  I was in the audience at {my local UMC}on Wednesday night. I wanted to speak to you after, not least to ask how you're enjoying "Strange New Worlds," but you had a number of folks waiting and we knew you had a long drive home ahead of you. 

First, I want to thank you.  It's obvious that this is a subject you're passionate about, and I truly appreciate you giving of your time.   I also have something that I simply can't get my head around.  My brilliant wife and I have talked about the matter extensively. I've spoken with {our pastor} at length, done a lot of reading, and watched what feels like hours of video (including more than one iteration of Rev. Stafford's informational session).  We have a 10-year-old son, and as I helped him with his Reading Fair project on Sherlock Holmes this past school year, we talked about the idea of "Qui bene?" that Holmes comes back to when he's stuck on a problem.  Believe it or not, that's what is really confusing to me about the present situation.  It may be that I'm not sophisticated enough or just not well-versed enough in the complexities of the thing, but I'm having a really hard time understanding how the traditionalists benefit from this.  I understand that they want a church that more closely reflects their social ideology, and that may be the answer, but I don't understand why the UMC has to be shattered to accomplish that.    

Beyond that, I find the GMC's references to Paul and Barnabas as a touchstone somewhat disingenuous.  Those two parted ways over a personal disagreement as far as I can tell, not any theological divide. It also bugs me that the whole premise of Rev. Stafford's presentation appears to be internally inconsistent, first stating that declaring Jesus as Savior is all that is required for salvation, regardless of doctrine or rules (emphasis mine), and then lamenting breaches of the Book of Discipline in nearly the next breath.  His appeal to probability, saying that because there are more and more "liberal" pastors being ordained in the UMC that even if you're a predominantly "traditional" UMC congregation, you're probably going to get a liberal pastor that doesn't align with your views, strikes me as a shabby trick more appropriate to Harold Hill.  Those, however, are my own gripes and not likely to have much of an impact on anyone else.

Sir, I know you're incredibly busy, and I understand completely if you're not able to respond.  Part of writing this was just to sort out what's been banging around in my head on this for a long while.  I'm going to vote to stay, if it comes to a vote at {my church}.  Like you, I'm sure, people I love and respect are on the other side.  If our church disaffiliates, I have no doubt we'll be able to find another church home.  What it comes down to for me, really, is that I can't see myself being part of a church that says to anyone, "You can attend worship here.  You can sit in the pew if you want. But you can't fully be part of this church because of who you are."  It seems to me it's the same as saying, "Jesus does not want you here."

Thank you, sir, again, for your time and your passion and for letting me get all this out.  I'm not sure if any of it makes sense.  If I can be of any help to you, please don't hesitate to ask.

Very Respectfully,

{name}

Addressing the Misinformation about our Core Doctrines

I've had several thoughtful and positive comments on my sermon on Trinity Sunday, so I thought I'd share a portion of it here. It's important!

I'm excited about being part of God's church because of who God is and what God is doing in us. No church is perfect. Last time I checked, it's full of people. And no denomination is perfect. All of them are struggling, but the church is the gift that God gave us, a gift of not only witness for God but for the "with-ness" of God.

And as we talk about the Trinity, I think it's important to address some misinformation that you will find out there in the world. Some opponents of the United Methodist Church say that the UMC is going to somehow abandon core doctrines like the authority of the Bible, or the resurrection, or the virgin birth, or the lordship of Christ, or the Trinity. You name it, I've heard it. Nothing could be further from the truth, and I'm going to tell you a couple of reasons why.

First of all, one method of rhetoric is to take outlying examples - something somebody said, somewhere, in a 12.5 million person denomination - and then you exaggerate it, take it out of context, wrap it into a narrative of the infidelity of the whole, and use it as justification for leaving.

It's a method of rhetoric. But it's an untruth, because second, our core doctrines of the United Methodist Church can not be changed. They're part of something called the Articles of Religion. They are in a constitutional section of our Discipline and were written by Wesley's very own hand, as he adapted them from the Church of England. It would take a 3/4 vote of all lay and clergy members of all annual conferences everywhere, throughout the entire world, to change those core constitutional doctrines.

And the very first one reads like this:

Article I — Of Faith in the Holy Trinity There is but one living and true God, everlasting, without body or parts, of infinite power, wisdom, and goodness; the maker and preserver of all things, both visible and invisible. And in unity of this Godhead there are three persons, of one substance, power, and eternity—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

You can not be more clear, and that's "A Number One."

In Memory of Harry Sims Protecting the Freedom Riders

I had a moving experience this past Saturday. I attended the Freedom Riders Anniversary Event on Gurney Avenue in Anniston, coordinated by a friend and parishioner named Pete Conroy. There was a book signing and presentation by Charles Person, one of two living original Freedom Riders who came through town in 1961 to protest continued segregation in Alabama, after it was outlawed by the Supreme Court.

At the time their "mixed riding" was met with hostility from mobs of Ku Klux Klansmen, Person was 18 years old. I had heard the basic story, of course, but I mentioned on Sunday that I didn't realize it happened on Mother's Day.

Afterwards, one of our church members told me that a parishioner of our church, Harry Sims, was on that bus. In his blessed memory, and in honor of all those who are part of the fiber of our great church, I decided to learn more about what Harry did.

At the time of the Freedom Riders, Harry was a plainclothes state trooper who was on the Greyhound bus. He was on duty, not only keeping an eye on things with his partner (who was recording the whole thing), but ended up protecting the Riders from violence.

You probably know some of the main story. Two buses left Atlanta, bound for Birmingham, and the Greyhound stopped for a rest stop in Anniston. As soon as they left Atlanta, "beefy" Klansmen on the bus started taunting Person and the other black and white Freedom Riders. Harry and his partner were sitting in the back. Once stopped on Gurney Avenue in Anniston, out of nowhere, the Freedom Riders were met by a Ku Klux Klan mob who blocked the bus, slashed the tires, broke the windows, and beat it with baseball bats.

Once the bus was able to pull out, just a few miles out of town the bus had to stop on the side of the road. Having been chased by cars driven by the same angry mob, the infamous scene was set.

Harry and his partner blocked the doors to keep the mob from attacking the Riders. One of the KKK threw a fire bomb through a broken window, and the Riders had to get out to escape further injury from smoke inhalation. Harry drew his weapon to protect them from the mob, which then began to disperse. When the ambulance arrived, the driver refused to take the black Freedom Riders to the hospital, and the white Riders insisted that they would not leave their black friends behind.

After some stern words from Harry's partner, the driver relented and they ended up all going. Harry and his partner accompanied them to the Anniston Memorial Hospital, where there was continued agitation. After the hospital administrator told them to evacuate because of threats of burning down the building, Harry and his partner could not provide transportation or an escort. So Fred Shuttlesworth, Civil Rights leader, ended up sending cars for them from Birmingham.

I wish I had met Harry Sims and heard his version. Those were difficult times. But he was there for all that, and he protected them, and in his own way, he stood for what was right. I tip my hat to Harry Sims. For more information on the Freedom Riders, the incident near Anniston, and Harry Sims, see the NPR news article on the subject.