Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Musings on Mystery

Mystery. What a word. 1 Corinthians 2 reminds me that Paul "proclaimed the mystery of God" not in big words but in simple Christ-focused terms. Yet, he said, "among the mature we speak wisdom," a wisdom "secret and hidden," revelaed through the Spirit which searches "even the depths of God."

Oh Lord, over the past ten years, you have uncovered your depths to me. I have been immersed in your grace and baptized by the fire of persecution and pain, which brought me into union with the peace of the cross and with the communion of saints. It is as if a new dimension of grace was opened to me, a fourth dimension that is unseen but so very real. It is as if you gave me a sixth sense with which to discern the life of the Spirit.

Thank you for these ten years. Thank you for "depth plungers" like Sacred Heart Monastery, Thomas a'Kempis and Nouwen and Teresa, and the Academy for Spiritual Formation. Thank you for my spiritual director who listens to my struggle and sense of awkwardness about being thrust into leadership and asks questions that help me consider this strange new positioning I feel in light of the larger "plunge" I have taken. Thank you for Uncle Warren's funeral, which not only celebrated a life well lived but reminded me that there are things larger than life, principles worth risking life itself for. Thank you for so many means of grace and the numerous people I'm in covenant with who reveal them to me in one way or another.

There is a larger mystery and it's human nature to be drawn into conflict on surface issues related to the mystery's movement rather than plunging in. You are leading me, and I know not where, guiding me and I know not why.

Where does this passion for holy conversation and leadership come from? It has everything to do with the holy conversation that began in me ten years ago and everything to do with my fascination with the Old Testament Trinity icon. It comes out of a ten year conversation with God. You have blessed me with a glimpse of mystery, and all I can say is "wow." Thanks be to God.